What in the Hell Have I been Up to?

I write that question not knowing if anyone has even been wondering. The last blog post or update I did to this website was in December of 2019. I could say a multitude about the things that have happened in between that post and this one, but I don’t think any of that is necessary. I have been going through what I can only call a long slow transformation with my photography and my life in general. There has been a lot of good and a lot of bad that has come from this journey and there is still a lot of work to be done. I do think I am to the point where I want to start updating this site again, but I am in the very early stages of what it will and what it will not be. Until I can decide that I would like to share with you some of what I have been working on and maybe some plans for the future.

In the last couple of years, I have hardly done any commissioned work. I hit a really low point with photography where I was not satisfied with my progression or satisfied with the recognition I was getting. This turned into a need to “outrun the algorithm” of social media. I was making a lot of work, but none of it felt complete to me. When I shot before it was all about quick fast and loose sessions where little if any planning beyond the general concept was done. I could crank out a lot of images, but I found that it was in contrast to the work I enjoyed looking at and looked up to the most. I have always enjoyed long-form photography that is a little slower in its creation and more in-depth in the subject matter. I decided that I would take a little break and shoot more film to help get me back to the roots and fundamentals of photography. This little exercise has turned into a two-year journey of me learning to be completely self-sufficient in the shooting, developing, editing, and scanning of my own film at home. There has been a lot of experimentation, a lot of money, and a lot of time put into what I have done the last couple of years, and even at the end of it, there is nothing to “show” for it. I think this was the most important lesson of all. It taught me to care about the process more. It has forced me to go back through my old work and give myself credit for how far I have come. I am excited to continue on this journey and begin using a lot of the things I have learned to put together gallery shows, blog posts, and bodies of work that I am proud of and nothing else. I don’t know if the goal is to be a “photographer” in the traditional sense of the word or just someone who takes photos. Either way, I am really excited to be at a point with photography where I feel happy with it again or at least hopeful. So much has gone on and I look forward to finding ways of showing that in some way with my work all the struggles and triumphs through mental health, addiction, love, sex, spirituality that have been taking form with and around me for some time. I do have two ideas that are much more fleshed out than anything else and will probably end up in the form of two different books. One that is a retrospect of some of my earlier work from the last ten or so years and the other being something completely new with elements of my old work and some of the new direction I have been going lately. All in all, I am excited to work on some more long-term projects.

To anyone out there still checking for me or appreciating my work. Thank you!